I don’t know if I have trust issues or I’m just smart and know when a guy is messing around.
Go ahead and make fun of me. I don’t think it’s weird that I feel guilty. How does that make me seem immature? It shows that I do have morals and a sense of innocence. Sorry I don’t just hook up with anybody, it really does matter that I have to really like a person and he must like me equally or more back. I’m still the same girl who is a hopeless romantic and wants a relationship. That’s why I’m incapable of having sex with anybody or just have it because I’m horny unlike many people. When I become physical is because I want to share that connection between two people, not just to get off. Go ahead and make fun of me, I know I’m getting older and need to relax to enjoy life more but I’m just not comfortable. I’m not ashamed or embarrassed by it. The day when I finally have real sex, I know it will be worth it. I’ve waited this long, I can keep waiting.
just got to keep reminding myself. any guy would be grateful and lucky to have me.
he says once i actually start caring, he will want to be with me. he thinks its very odd and unhealthy that i don’t care if he is with other women. he says the day i actually care or show some sort of jealousy, he will believe that i’m ready to be with him. i really don’t believe im ready for a real relationship but yesterday’s conversation made me realize, i’m just scared shit out of my mind. I’m just scared, traumatized by so many guys hurting me because of other women. i need to face my fear or i’m going to end up losing something real.
(Source: littlewolfheart)
I’m going to try my hardest right now not to think. No more analyzing, no more sitting down and trying to predict the future. I’m going to live in the moment, no more what ifs. Need to stop bringing up things that aren’t really necessary. Just going to focus on what makes me happy. I care about others too much, need to focus on myself.
I am exhausted. It’s not even funny how worn out I am. Here I go again with being too nice spending money on someone because I feel bad. The first $800 bucks was fine but now another $750? This is ridiculous, what am I doing? I’ve given up already an entire week taking him to work at 5:30am since his car is in the shop. I’m tired, now I have to drive around picking up parts and drop it off risking my job. I’m exhausted, I hope all of this good deeds I’m doing will bring something very positive in my life.
